Any expecting mother walking into Babies'R'Us to start a registry is given a handy little "registry checklist" of items that every baby must have before they make their grand entrance into the world. I remember the first time I was handed this guide. I literally laughed a little looking through it because our first child was born in South Korea, where we lived in a one room apartment (one room - not one bedroom!). We learned very quickly what we actually needed which I am sure has saved us hundreds and hundreds of dollars over the last several years. There are really a lot of those "must-haves" that you can easily skip but I have five in particular that seem like a complete waste of money.

#1. The Wipes Warmer

I thought this was a joke when I saw it for the first time. I promise you babies' butts are wiped with room temperature wipes every day without the end of the world. Not only are these unnecessary but the largest complaint I have seen about these gadgets is that they're very good at growing mold. 

#2. Bottle Sanitizer

This might sound terrifying but I never once sanitized my son's bottles. We did not have a dishwasher or a microwave so I just used my trusty warm water and soap. Kid is healthy as a horse and we never had a single issue. Just wash them regularly and you should be fine. Your kitchen will thank you for the extra space. 

#3. Bottle Warmer


If you are bottle feeding, most people will tell you you absolutely need a bottle warmer. The only way I can see this making sense is if you prepare an entire day's worth of formula in a formula pitcher and stick it in the fridge. The easiest thing to do with formula is to use those handy munchkin travel containers to pre-measure powder for your bottles and then pour room temperature distilled water into bottles ahead of time. This is especially handy for outings and night time. 

#4. Baby Towels/washcloths

Baby towels are adorable. They have cute hoods and characters and you can match them all together so I get the appeal but I promise you this: baby towels do not work well. They're incredibly thin and non-absorbent. They never kept my first baby very warm post bath which is necessary if you want to avoid blood curdling screams. My tip? Just buy nice soft comfy normal towels in the bath section. More absorbency and warmth for a fraction of the cost. Same with baby wash cloths. They're insanely overpriced and besides being a little softer there is really no difference. 

#5. Bassinet


This is the biggest waste of money because your baby will outgrow it very quickly. I would recommend purchasing a pack and play for keeping baby close to your bed. It grows with your child and will last into toddler hood. Most bassinets only lasts for a month or so so you're spending tons of money on something your kid barely uses. 

What about you? Anything you would add to this list? Comment below and let me know what you didn't end up needing for your little one! 

Bedrest when you are pregnant with your first child is bad enough. It's boring and time seems to stand still and you feel useless. But what do you do when your doctor orders you to rest when you have other little ones running around your house?

First, don't panic. This has happened to me and I've found several things that really helped pass the time without both of us going crazy!

1. Ask for help

Do you belong to a church? A moms group? Do you have family members nearby? Ask them for help. Friends have helped me clean my home while church members brought hit, home cooked meals in the evenings.

2. Netflix

I know, I know. Children shouldn't watch excessive amounts of television. Here's the thing, though. Sometimes you find yourself in a situation where it's imperative that you lay down and your kid needs something to do. Turn on some Daniel Tiger and rest. I promise it won't make you a bad mom.

3. Play outside

We're lucky enough to live in Jackdonville, Florida where we can expect sixty degree weather in the winter most days. I also have a fenced yard with a back patio. I let my son run around while I sit down and rest. It's hours of entertainment and they'll sleep great later!

3. Arts and crafts

Have your partner or friend help you set up gallon ziplocks with activities for your children. Take one out, set them at the table and rest while they explore and create. Sensory bags are great as well!

5. Preschool

If you have the means to do so, having your child spend a few days at preschool can be amazing for both of you. You aren't dealing with the stress of caring for them while trying to care for your little baby and they aren't cooped up! They get to play with other children and learn and will come home happy to see mommy!

Bedrest is the pits. I know every day I say I wish I could sit on my butt all day but once a doctor says I have to, all I can think of is how badly I want to power clean my entire house. Luckily, these days there are planty of things that can make bedrest a little easier.

1. Netflix, Netflix, Netflix

Gone are the days where you have to drive somewhere and rent a movie. With Netflix you can watch your favorite movies and even binge watch entire TV series from the comfort of your own couch!

2. Read a good book

Whether you're reading your favorite novel or reading up on pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting, there is plenty to keep your mind busy.

3. Pamper Yourself

It's really amazing how great you feel after you get a new haircut or get your nails done. See if your stylist makes home calls and if not see if a friend will come have a mani/pedi party with you!

4. Sleep

It sounds obvious but nap as much as you want. Sleep is good for you and good for baby.

5. Have lunch dates

Ask friends to come over a few times a week to have a lunch date. Get take out and enjoy the company of another person!

Sometimes you find yourself on bedrest with children in the house. This is an entirely different situation and is of course much trickier! Keep an eye out for my next post "5 Ways to Survive Bedrest with Children."

Recently, my cousin gave birth to her first child. When we were talking one day she said she hoped she could be as good a mom as I am. I was the standard for how to do it right. I was really shocked that someone would say this to me because I promise I am not that incredible. When I asked why, she brought up all of the things she sees on facebook. I made my own baby food, and I homeschool my son, and I always plan amazing activities for him to keep him engaged and help him learn, I always seem organized and my child is well behaved.

 I immediately felt terrible. I felt like I had just found out I am daily setting up women to feel like they're falling short. I was a participant in the "best mom ever" contest. I was part of the problem. See the truth is, I often feel like a terrible mother. I feel like my son doesn't eat healthy enough. I don't spend enough of my time crafting amazing activities to further his development. I don't find enough time for exercise and my house is not always clean. I often feel overwhelmed and unsure of how to juggle all of the parts of my life. I am constantly falling short to my own expectations. I constantly compare myself to other moms and their facebook posts. As I write this blog my son is watching The Lego Movie and playing with his toys on his own. He had dry cereal, peanut butter, and bananas for breakfast. He didn't get dressed until almost 11:00 a.m. We have not done any homeschool activities in weeks. We haven't even played in the backyard for over a month. Its too hot and I don't feel like it. I have piles of laundry and dishes and I just can't find the motivation to tackle them.

But here is the thing: none of that is ever on facebook. I (and we) want people to think we are amazing and perfect because as mothers it seems universal for us to feel like failures. We are afraid we are failing our children. We are afraid someone else is doing it better than we are. We are afraid of people finding out that we aren't as wonderful as our Facebook profile would have others think. We see moms on facebook and think to ourselves, "they can do it all, why can't I?" The answer is they're thinking the same thing. And they feel that way, in part, because of how hard we work to project an image of perfection.

I think its time to be open and honest about our lives as mothers in our culture. I want to be perfect, but I will never be perfect, and neither will you. Sometimes I let my kid eat dogs twice in a day. Sometimes I let him watch too much t.v. (try often), sometimes we don't get dressed at all.  Sometimes I don't clean and the only excuse I have is I was being lazy. Sometimes I don't get my meals planned and we're scrambling for dinner at the last minute. Ladies, these things do not and should not measure our success as mothers. We place value on things that do not accurately measure how we are doing as parents. We keep putting only our best foot forward to avoid judgment and it becomes a stumbling block for all of us because none of us are actually doing it all. We all want help. We all want true support and understanding. We all want to know we are good moms.

So lets come together and be transparent. Lets help each other understand how wonderful we are and focus on loving our children and meeting their needs. Lets not be caught up in a never ending contest to "win" at being a mother. None of us will win at the end of the day and we will eternally feel like failures. Focus on supporting each other and we can be invincible.